Smells Like Teen Spirit: In the Summer Time

By ‘Goose’

So on Saturday the 7^th of February, our mission kicked off with a bang. Maverick and I decided our first stop would be an establishment that has a solid reputation with Sydney siders. The ‘Glasshouse’ in Wollongong.

My first impression of the place was a good one, we didn’t wait in line to get in, a lot of young people, the floor was clean and the view was spectacular. First stop was the bar, pricing was as expected, $20 for two vodka and Red bulls, not a bad price, only problem was, we ordered one vodka and one Pure Blonde, but that’s ok, the bartender was amazingly attractive, funny thing was, they all were. Points there, I bet they get good tips.

The crowed was probably between 19 and 25 with a few Hens nights in the works. Ratio of guys to gals was probably around 50/50 which isn’t great, as a single male you want it to be 60/40 at least. For men, dress code was jeans and a t-shirt and could get away with shorts if need be. Women, the trend seemed to be dress…. This is always a good thing. The people all seemed friendly and in good spirits, no trouble or wankers about which for me adds to the scale. Lads, the women there were mostly very attractive and friendly. It was seemingly easy for me to get some type of “in” with a lot of the women, a simple smile worked wonders. Ladies, the men seemed to be very clean and not pushy with anything. Perhaps this is a great pick up spot, or maybe just a couples spot.

Music confused me a little. The dj couldn’t decide on old school, new age and even the style of music played. We heard a bit of everything, except I did notice the lack of trance and electro, so drugs aren’t essential if you are there. The added extra of a screen with the music film clips is a great idea and really did help give the joint character.

Cleanliness was amazing. I don’t think that I have ever been to a club where I didn’t feel like I was sticking to the floor. I give them top marks for that achievement right there.

Overall, I give the place four stars out of a possible five. To me it was hard to fault the place. Everything about it was done well and pulled off. If I had to fault the place, layout wasn’t great. In the winter months it would be hard to get a seat inside, which would hurt. Will I go back? Anytime.

Gin and Juice: Mind on My Money

By ‘Maverick’

And on the 7^th day god rested. He ordered a beer and proceeded to get a Red bull and Vodka, was promptly overcharged and told to move away from the bar. So much for gratitude I guess.

Let’s set the scene shall we. Wollongong is the 3d largest city in NSW…… ok lets not. Lets just say it took about an hours drive from point A(Being where I live) to point B(Being the Gong). So my ultimate fear was that I had just spent about $25 in fuel to be bitterly disappointed by what The Glasshouse had to offer me. I wont lie, I had previously been to a few nights in Wollongong on a Wednesday for uni night and I must say although good times were had wasn’t all that impressed. Best served in large groups I say. However that’s not how it all went down.

We arrived to the Glassy at around about 10:30pm. Were quickly ushered to the line where a burly man with his chest hairs pointed in my face carded us. I gave him the appropriate “Thanks mate” as I walked through the non apparent doors into what seemed like a beer garden that had been set on fire. Being a non smoker I decided this was not the place for me and quickly ran inside only to be confronted by a blistering wall of sweaty people dancing all over the place. Before I go any further a quick thumbs up is in order to the Blonde girl who danced as if she was trying to make the top 10 in “So you think you can dance”. Overall, the amount of people in the pub/bar was simply impressive. Thumbs up.

The next logical step was to of course head toward the bar. Being Mr Deso Dave my first choice was that of an Alcoholic beverage. (Genius I know) I ordered a Pure Blonde and received a Red bull with Vodka. Here’s a tip, have some brews before you go, lie to the bouncer, and you might just save yourself a mint. For some reason management seem to believe that the Glasshouse is the new Trademark Hotel. The only thing the bar had going for it was the obvious Ralph Model bikini model contestants serving the drinks (This explains the wrong order at least. You go girl).

Thumb ‘Sideways’

The people seemed to be rather friendly and it was obviously a rather laid back environment as Shorts were not only accepted but they were encouraged. As the temperature rose by about 20 degrees upon going inside. There were various hens nights going on around us and I was asked if I had any Condoms. Not knowing what she wanted from me I replied that ‘condoms were for sailors’. She took a sip from her penis shaped straw, rolled her eyes and went on about her business. The dance floor was where all the fun was to be had; Goose did his natural chicken like mating ritual dance that seemed to work as the night went on and was propositioned by many young horny ladies.

Thumbs up

The venue was nice, the music loud and the booze was flowing like water. It all melded together nicely. There was actually a nightclub within the bar itself. We opted not to check it out as the detailed journalists we long to be as too much fun was being had downstairs. Not to mention many people I had seen pay their money to go inside the nightclub portion ended up back down anyway. Good choice I say.

Thumbs up.

So to say that I had an enjoyable night would be a good indication of the quality of The Glasshouse. I was neither getting drunk, nor was in any special mood. It was a plain old Saturday night and I left feeling happy I had gone down. Overall I will give The Glasshouse a 3 ¾ Stars out of 5.